What does it mean to be a side?
A side is a man who does not want anal penetration as part of sex — meaning he’s generally not into topping (penetrating someone) or bottoming (being penetrated).
This isn’t “less sex.” It’s just a different preference. Plenty of men have a strong sex drive and want intimacy with men — they simply don’t want anal intercourse to be the centerpiece.
This site is for gay men, bisexual men, straight men, and bicurious men who want clear language about side identity, boundaries, and non-penetrative intimacy.
What side intimacy often includes
Everyone’s menu is different. But side sex typically focuses on pleasure and connection without making anal penetration the expected outcome.
Mutual pleasure
Oral sex, mutual masturbation, hand jobs, making out, body contact, grinding, frottage. For a lot of men, that’s already more than enough.
Ass play without intercourse (optional)
Some sides like rimming or external stimulation. Some like toys (plugs, dildos) on their own terms. Some want none of it. “Side” isn’t one rigid rulebook.
Less pressure, clearer boundaries
Many sides prefer sex where nobody is trying to “get you to” do something. The goal is consent, pleasure, and compatibility — not convincing.
Who this site is for
These are common situations where men start searching for answers.
New, curious, or questioning
You might identify as straight but feel turned on by men (or certain kinds of male intimacy). You might be bi and tired of being told you must pick a lane. You might be gay and never enjoyed anal sex.
None of that is rare, and none of it is disqualifying.
Married or partnered
Some men realize later that anal penetration doesn’t feel right — physically or emotionally. That discovery can be confusing, especially in long relationships.
The responsible move is honest conversation and clear boundaries — not shame, secrecy, or pressure.
Extensive FAQ (including explicit topics)
The FAQ covers basics all the way to real scenarios: new/questioning, married/partnered, consent and pressure, side vs asexual, rimming/toys/boundaries, and the most common myths and shitty takes online.
It also includes questions that show up a lot among straight, bisexual, and bicurious men who are trying to understand what gay sex actually means in real life.
Where this is heading
SideGays is mostly informational right now. In 2026 it may expand into a bigger platform.
Blog
Longer pieces that aren’t just definitions: stories, blunt myth-busting, and guidance for talking about boundaries.
Reader questions
A way to collect real questions (anonymized) and answer them in a structured, searchable format.
More scenarios
Dating apps, long-term relationships, mixed-orientation marriages, consent, and how to handle pressure tactics.
Want to influence what gets built next? Email: editor (at) sidegays (dot) com